What does it take to really attract the opposite sex in this age range? Online dating ads from guys say "Seeking women between ages 25-45" so I miss it by one year :P
There are days where I feel like that white pelican that I took pictures of in St. James Park in London. Sitting and napping amongst the youngsters around me while they get the 'action'. Or the older women with more exotic features capture men because they don't have many more choices. (?) I seem to always miss some age range or social reason of being picked. Have I been picked over from the lot? Maybe I am the picky one with high standards; high standards according to the eHarmony 29 page personal survey that I filled out and got NOWHERE, thank you for that drop of change!
So if it's me: sense of independence and male ego intimidation has always been my awareness. Too strong, aggressive, too independent, "cocky" (love that adjective) all equals not femine enough to stroke the fragile male ego. Then there were my chances of staying with men who were the quiet type; their mothers were the dominmant ones in their families. That freaked me out because I want a partnership where decisions are made together and not because of me alone. That good old compromise seems to be difficult in our "convenient" society. I keep forgetting - women have to train their men. Oh, where the hell is that written in those "Joy of Sex" and 'better your relationship' books? Where is the Dr. Spock book on how to train the man in a relationship?
My mother thought I was a lesbian back in 1987 because I wasn't married yet. Back then my sister who is 2 1/2 years younger than me was going through a separation to divorce of a man who wanted her to do nothing with working. He wanted her to bring him a beer at his beckon call. What she saw in him I have no clue but I had nothing in common with him to carry a conversation with anyway. At that time I realized that my mother was not the brightest light bulb by asking me of my marital status when her own biological daughter is going through a divorce from the village idiot. My immediate answer to her was, "So what if I was?" I loved her mouth drop down in surprise. My second answer was - why would I marry anyone off the street and end up in a divorce? As it turns out, all of my siblings in this family have been married and divorced at least once each. I am the survivor of the only one never married. Is that a curse or is that a winner in a family?
For today, I am just as happy with the simple companionship set up; not required for marriage material. I never was high school prom material. I identify with the lead character in a new show called "My Boys"; where she thinks like a guy, acts like a guy and hangs out with the boys but still has 'I am a girl attracted to the cute guy' genetics.
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There's a r song by the Uppity Blueswoman that goes kind of like this.
"It would be so much easier give my heart and soul a rest, if I could only learn, learn to settle for less."
Which is basically what every woman wonders at a certain age when she finds herself alone. Maybe I should just settle? Am I too picky? Was my bar too high? Did I place the bar that high on purpose?
There is a huge difference between living and exisitng and you would be amazed at how many women remain married and merely exist in the confines of that marriage because they are afraid to be alone. They are afraid to live.
A full and rich life is what counts and it takes courage to stand up for yourself and say I can do better on my own. It's contrary to everything we are taught.
What's Being Single Good For? Let Me Count The Ways....
1. No compromises.
2. Not having to sit on cold porcelain because he forgot to put the toilet seat down.
3. Do what you want, when you want, how you want, with whom you want.
4. (see number 2)
The list goes on....
Yet, it's really about your journey, your life. You know that at certain points in your life you've needed particular skills or tools (or even just plain luck) to move on. How did you acquire them?
When there is a great need in our lives and we can identify that need (without cynicism), something happens. We create almost a "magnetic force" that draws to us that which we need. The doors open, the resources appear. Then we have to recognize them for what they are and be willing to take the next step.
Man? No man? The world's your oyster.
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