Another New Year Coming

What have I accomplished this past 2007 calendar year?

Personal Life: Found out that I can overcome my fear of intense social chaos in my knitster group. I call it my group therapy with my knitting buddies. Now I can pick out the social distortions or anomalies that penetrate the flow.

Something Cool: For about 4 months, I had a mini-leased car in Detroit for my road warrior project. The car was a Dodge Charger with only 2 miles on the odomter out of the Avis rental lot. The ride was smooth with very comfortable cushion seats; bucket in the front and molded in the back. Wow is that car fast and handles turns on a dime!









Accomplishments at work: I got one out of 2 databases live for a major software upgrade for a very large client with personal hardships that I had to sacrifice for that project. Come to find out that I am "difficult to work with" in the West region from a couple of executive managers. London and Detroit report no such problem in fact am an asset. This proves to me how the West coast management have personality issues and don't know the f#$%k is going on in projects since I ask too many questions. It's a threat to their competance. I suppose some day I should work for myself. There is an option to work overseas again in Australia. However if they can't deploy me closer to my home due to personality issues, I can always stay home and knit on conference calls while getting paid. :)

Marital Status: Status quo - my attempts twice to have a meaningful relationship has failed twice. My choice in life is not to choose detrimental situations long-term when I see them. I seem to be an organizer but not one to have to "hold the bag" every time. The opportunity for meeting men is a zero.


What am I planning to do for 2008?

Personal Life: Stay away from peeps that make me feel uncomfortable. I pick up quickly on the "fat girl personality". These are the women that I have met that seem to go above and beyond to think I am their best friend. Their way of 'game playing' attempts to hit my vulnerability manipulating their paradigm to their benefit; never mind what it takes to get there even if it's imposing on me or others around me. Their social sense of reality is not the same as mine (and I have definately worked on mine to get where I am). Hanging out with this personality is going backwards for me. Bottom line - avoiding the creepiness and manipulations.

Something Cool: My next new car will be a Dodge Charger.

Accomplishments at work: continue to leave the burden of my company to deploy me in the appropriate location from my home. I am eligible for a 4 week sabbitcal this coming year. Hazzah! Time to finaly plan that photo safari in the Serengeti.

Marital Status: will attempt to find a wine tasting club where there are male species in the mix. I love hangning out with the knitsista's but everyone seems to "belong" to someone else. No expectations; just need to sharpen up on the dating scene sometime in my "bucket list".

Happy New Year everyone!

What Happens to Me when Driving Cross Counties in California

The Etiquette of California Freeway Driving

When I was young I had several dreams of driving a car; doesn't matter how small I was. That was a consistent sign of "taking control" or being in control. Well, there's always hazards to something that seems to be a good thing.

Driving in the MidWest:
-Learned how to rock my car when stuck in a slick icey hole wintertimes ("rock me gently, rock me slowly...") In this case, it was quick forward/reverse; back and forth - hard on the transmission.
-Learned how to keep 'control' of my vehicle when the wheels were spinning out of control.
-Fishtailing in the snow was fun!
-People know the fast lane is meant for people to drive faster than the posted speed limint.
-There were no hills or mountains to drive up or down.

Driving with California Drivers:
-I see people burn out their clutches when they are stuck in icey holes.
-Went on vacation in New Zealand where my travel companion thought that 100 KM speed on gravel was legal; funny how the car spun out of a control and nose dives into a muddy ditch. The mud in New Zealand is soft, smooth and warm as it seeps inside the rental car.
-Fishtailing in California means you have to have an annoying engine to make such outrageous maneuvers.
-Driving in the fast lane of California freeways seems to be for anyone no matter how slow you are going; forget flashing your headlights to get to them to move to the right. They are driving on a 'freeway' so it's free in any lane!
-It's amazing that when California drivers slam on their brakes when the car is driving downhill.

Sign says "Watch downhill Speed". So everyone has their brakes on all of a sudden, no wonder we have accidents. What is wrong with just taking your fucking foot off the gas pedal? 3 modes of driving a car when it's in motion: gas pedal, no gas pedal (coast), brake.

I don't mind driving 1 1/2 - 2 hours from Ventura to wherever but then I have to be patient with people who are the following:
1. Skiddish for driving beyond the speed limit (and drive in the fast lane)
2. Brake when they think you are too close them in the back and there is NOBODY else in front of them threatening their passage.
3. Brake driving in unison downhill - all lanes
4. Drivers that let their emotions take over what they are supposed to pay attention to constitutes either under a chemical influence or they are really not in reality
5. Then there the drivers who insist on talking on the cell phone while driving

Therefore I understand why people "don't want to drive" to a long distance e.g. cross counties. But we all have to spread the wealth of the challenge in this world to keep in touch with each other! I drove down twice to Long Beach and Huntington Beach (HB) for this past holiday weekend (drove back and forth; good thing the freeways were clear). I hope it was appropriate to decline another opportunity to drive down to HB for a New Year's party - I think they all need to drive up to me!

Call me "Bag Lady"

I have to give credit to Becky for kicking my butt to get a new Amy Butler knitting bag from AFY. I love it!!!




It has pockets and compartments that I never knew were possible in a bag. Great for the carry-on when traveling. I don't have to bring a separate purse on board with me - there's a hidden compartment for my purse paraphenilia. Then when you open it; whalah! All of my projects pop out at me to grab without digging through for them.



I think we need to get "Luis" to stock up on her inventory ;)

Ravelry

Patience to those who are taking me in as friends...I can't seem to learn this website as quickly as others.

Untagging Myself

Rules for being tagged:
Here’s the deal: Once tagged, you must link to the person who tagged you. Then post the rules before your list, and list 8 random things about yourself. At the end of the post, you must tag and link to 8 other people, visit their sites, and leave a comment letting them know they’ve been tagged. So here we go. *some restrictions may apply.

So here are my 8 rantings of life since Becky tagged me:

1. I see myself living through cycles in this lifetime. "For everything, turn, turn....For every season, turn,turn" you get the idea. My hobbies & priorities have changed from precious gems, to international travel to homeownership, sewing and then there is crocheting/knitting. Workwise: uppward mobile R.N. that strives to not be pigeon-holed in one role or skill thus my career jumps x3. I didn't get a degree in Nursing for this very thought. Therefore it reflects in my easy sense of boredom from the daily routine. Working with software has definately kept me in me the loop of constant change. The downside is that working with software as a job loses the novelty of perusing through the internet to various websites. I hope others don't think I have abandoned the techy world; I am just heading for retirement all around from software (work). I even posted my dislike of keeping up with the technical items e.g. iPhone earlier in this blog. I guess if I was a professional basket-weaver with nothing else to do in a day, I would be "pinging" people all day every day!

2. When I was 10 years old, I succumbed to viral pneumonia; not bacterial. We all know viri stays with you until death. I was wondering why a cold wasn't getting better. Laying in bed flat for 5-6 weeks straight was my routine - now you see where my sense of boredom came from in #1. The only thing I could do at that age was watch day-time TV all day long. Needless to say I am sick and tired of "Bozo's Circus". "Bozo's Circus is on the air! (marching music..)". After a couple weeks, my thoughts at that age "Cram it clown!"

3. As a result for being a good girl recovering from viral pneumonia, I received pierced ears from a painful method - training earring where points were piercing into the tissue slowly. My mother thought that if I suffered that long in bed, I can suffer longer with slow torture piercing into my earlobes. I also acquired the lovely allergy to Penicillin with all of the high-doses I received with pneumonia. And last but not least, everytime I get a cold, I have respiratory symptoms regardless where the cold started. Bronchitis sometimes arises and allergies > asthma is now in my medical history from living in the high desert area. My move back to the coastal beach areas is the best condition I can live in California - poor me :)

4. During my Nursing School days, I took a job on weekends to work as a Nurse's Aid in a Catholic retirement home. Most of the residents don't talk or walk; just exist since their families didn't want to take care of them in that condition. Party animal me at that age didn't think what it was like to work under Nuns. The amitious me showed up one weekend day without being scheduled to help out. The Nun in that wing was surprised and pleased that I was there, I think. That evening, I partied to long and didn't wake up for the next day to help again - unscheduled. That Nun fired my ass because I didn't show up (but I wasn't really scheduled!). The administrator told me my fate and said, "That's the way it is". Lesson learned - since I am not Catholic I stay away from Nuns no matter where I am.

5. Have to admit that I am a bit of a control freak - for my destiny. This is probably why I haven't married. With a spouse, you are dealt a known deck of cards. But time goes by and the cards change without my awareness - Phuey! This goes the same for having children. Thank goodness there are you guys out there that want to contribute to the gene pool. Since I have no idea what genetics I carry for medical issues (if any) I will stay out of the blame for spoiling that gene pool.

6. I am ready for a roadtrip up to Cambria, CA. Last time I tried to plan one with people, there were reasons to not go. My philosophy is "I can do that" (see post from Pike Place Market experience). The goal is to stay with circles that are not negative in any sense. If I cannot do something, I don't bother to say I will and then change my mind later when I wasn't sure to begin with.

7. Is Christmas 2007 over yet?

8. I am learning to be patient with those that are less fortunate as me: intellectually/financially, etc. I see myself blessed for where I am in this world and I am doing it my way!

People I tag - VISTA won't let me attach a link and save it to your name :( so here is my list of peeps:

Becky (back at ya!)
Ann Koretz
Leslie Progue
Elizabeth Shen
Sandy Lothes
Nancie Paquin
Beatriz Ruettgers
Maryann Cotta

Holiday Time, Again!

Well - lots to catch up on since I last posted....

Went to Seattle for a glorious 2-week vacation. Something that I can rarely do is take that much time off all at once. I hung out with my friend Brenda where we went to Pike Place Market. Got to see the fish stand where they throw each other the merchandise that people are purchasing. What a hoot to see flying fish and bagged crustations! One of us curious patrons received a stuffed fish thrown at him in the crowd. The guy was next to me so I almost got hit with a stuffed flying fish. That was funny to watch. On another table of ice and fish products, they had a monk fish split from the belly and laying over the ice hung by a rope at the tail. Little kids would come by and see how ugly the fish is then one of guys tugs on the rope and the kids scream!

Then I proceeded to peruse through the artists booths in the market and came across a woman who sells shawls that look like fishnet with outrageous multi-colord felted fringe material. Piece of shits on a hanger for $90! When I first went up to the table, I blurted out "I can do that!" Meaning, I can knit. The woman behind the table said, " That is rude to say something like that to the artist". I ignored her and continued to realize how much they were pieces of shit on the hangers. She then continued, "I don't appreciated you there in front of my table!". I finally said, "Sorry for passing by!" Her reaction was a nod as though she won a battle somehow. What the fuck! Brenda thought she was outright rude for her to make those 2 comments when I was merely trying to express the fact that I share the same capability of the craft. Such insecurities people have; I noticed that absolutely nobody was walking by her pieces of shit on the hangers anwyay. Now my mantra is "I can do that!"

On 11/9, I hosted a farewell dinner for Jessica Taft who has now moved up to Anchorage, AL. Had Bulgogi meatloaf and various Korean vegetables with red pepper paste. I also uncorked my favorite red table wine from Foxens. Us girls had a great time with Julie's inventive card game and of course knitting together. Good luck Jessica!


The next day I went to an all women's retreat in Ojai with Nancie, Stephanie, Mary Ann and other women that I have met for the first time; the common thread was Nancie - what a goddess! The spiritual expressions in ceremonies and the eating was the best! The hot and cold tubs were great; love the cold contrast from sitting in the hot mineral water. It was like I was sitting in 'women stew' ;)

Meanwhile, I have finished the poka-dot sweater but have yet to weave in the loose ends. I realize it's too big for me after all therefore it still sits on a pretty hanger. I also accidently corrected 3 of the 6 button holes in the front ribbing; forgot those holes were intentional. Got the long sliver buttons hoping 3 will keep is close when worn.

I also made another Elzbeth Lavold short-sleeved lace pullover in 3-4 weeks with the easiest yarn to work with - Marisol. I guess I am turning into a sweater machine! "I can do that!!"

Tomorrow for Thanksgiving, I will have an out-of-town visitor to stay with me for the Holiday and throughout the weekend while visiting other friends. His name is Bill and an ex-beau and I am about to put him through a busy weeken. Will have to keep you all posted on what this adventure visit will bring.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Celebration Times Come On!

Cool and the Gang made that song a hit in the 1980's. So here is what I am celebrating:

1. My project is FINALLY going live with one of the databases end of this month and it's up to the client to get their act together this time; not my company - hah! The second database should be similar and going up in January. This means I will be working on getting a project closer to home so I won't be a surburban Detroit inmate soon.

2. Just received my annual review and I am getting a 4% increase in salary. This doesn't mean I am going out to buy more cashmere but now I can feel comfortable that I made that assault on my budget from BB's Knits. I am thinking of a Vegas knitting weekend at a Marriott resort so I can use my hotel points......

3. I am still surviving without an iPhone!! Hell, I am still surviving without my own laptop. My work PC is upgraded to Microsoft Vista and a new Dell machine. Working with Vista is a different story where i don't want to spoil the celebratory message

4. I am working from home this week so I can work on 4 different projects simultaneously. Poka-dot project: working on last sleeve piece; Multi-blue pullover: completed back piece, working on front (3-yarn project); Einstein's jacket: resurrecting yarn that was meant for something else and thrown to the side.....working on bottom piece; Baby Einstein: new project just started this past weekend with Baby Bamboo yarn - love it!

Just working from home puts me in a better disposition. What a concept! Cheers to the American housewives out there.

In Person Star Entourage

One more experience of star gazing....

While going through the security check at the Detroit airport, I realized that Stevie Wonder was in front of me being guided through as he walked through the scanner. Looked like a skinny body guard was behind him. I was thrilled! After the security check he was sitting in a chair while Northwestern attendants were standing around him. I walked on, hearing girls scream "Stevie" in the terminal; then watched him and the entourage circle around him as he joined me on the tram to the gate. Everyone in the tram car is saying, "That's Stevie Wonder!" as though he wasn't able to hear anyone whispering this. I proceeded to follow him down the escalators from the tram ride; I couldn't find the nerve to say anything since the entourage was around him along with a female companion - like I was going to hit on him, right.

It was quite a treat to be in the presence of such a master artist! I think that if I was in the same space as Tom Hanks I would definately pass out! What is the likelyhood of that happenening?

Star Gazing!

Hey I had a thrill at the airport...gotta find them whenever and wherever I can.

When I flew back into LAX from my inmate home visit from Detroit, I didn't realize that I was flying with a celebrity. Natalie Cole and her band were getting off the plane and I didn't recognize her with her dark incognito glasses. But when we were all getting our luggage, she was walking in front of me and around me pacing and talking on her phone waiting for the bags to come on the belt. Woohooo! Circled by a celebrity! No matter how many years I live in CA, I am always star struck by the celebs.

One flight years ago, I was walking in front of Alan Rickman from a Salt Lake flight back. Since he is British, all I could think of then was "don't fart, don't fart!"

I shook hands with Jonathon Frakes in a bar in West Hollywood; number one on Star Trek New Generation.

Saw Bruce Springstein walk in around midnight in a Beverly Hills restaurant that I was having a capuccino in.

When I was working in the intensive care units, I remember taking care of Ella Fitzgerald on the night shift. Early morning when I was drawing her a bath, she sang me the blues in a private concert. What a thrill!

Scatman Crothers sang me a tune that he wrote for the director of "The Shining" while recovering from major lung surgery. I gave him my leftover bag of peanuts from a ballgame when he transferred to a regular room; he gave me a box of See's chocolates :)

I found out Jackson Browne's real name is Clyde Brown when I took care of him.

There were other celebs that I took care of but I think I will hold on to that patient confidentiality.

"So if you're tired of the same old story....

...turn some pages"

Went to the Ventura County fair and checked out REO Speedwagon in concert Saturday night. I saw them 25 years ago and they still sound great! Gray hair but they are still rocking. Had to buy their new CD since Kevin Cronin plugged it twice during the show. All the youngsters in the crowd took off probably because they don't get that generation of music.

After the concert, I almost pissed in my pants on the Magnum ride. OMG! If you want an excitement and thrilling ride - get your 6 ride tickets ready!

With all due respect, it's nice to go the fair with less crowds, at night and not have to work as a demonstrator this year. :)

Cheers to the knit sisters who are demonstrating for AFY - obviously couldn't sign up to volunteer this year.

Life Coming at Me Fast: Poka-dot Express

For those who are interested in updates in blogs, here is this one....

1. I think I have a "boyfriend", his name is Tim - we went to a Dodger game as one of our first dates.
The picture here is the last time I saw those pair of glasses...I have been blind for 3 weeks now until I get my new pairs with new prescriptions. Two so in case I lose one I have another. It's hell to get old!



While at the game I thought I take a shot of a boy who decided on the best looking headgear.




Since I am a prisoner of the friendly skys, I ended up talking to a family traveling to CA for the first time on vacation. I was their 'tour guide' telling them what cool places to check out; free or not. I had to take another shot of the boy's headgear for travel








2. Went to watch a Kung Fu fighting tournament last weekend to watch Tim's son Josh compete. ("Everybody was Kung Fu fighting, it was just as fast as lightening") All I saw was a bunch of people dressed in pads and a samauri outfit hitting each other with rattan sticks. Afterwards, the grand master of Josh's school guided us to Chinatown in L.A. - best Chinese food! He told us about his Kung Fu fighting school, the business and the people drama; just like a soap opera. After hearing about their people drama, I called it "All My Sticks".












3. I finally finished the backside of my poka-dot sweater that April and I started. I am losing track on the time of how long it's taking; this is a huge chore. Since I am an inname to Detroit suburbia, this is my daily task while I emotionally melt with the project (an activity that supports the income of my consumerism e.g. cashmere) that is supposed to convert in 6 weeks. Ode to the therapy of knitting; without it I would definately loose it.





4. Today (July 28, 2007) I watched my cousin's daughter Alexa Scimeca competed in a figure skating competition here in Detroit suburbia. She looked beautiful on the ice. This wasn't her best day and she seems to have a reputation everywhere even on the net. Kinda cool to have a famous relative! Just like any athlete, she has to skate every day with thousands of dollars invested in her training and competition mode. I hope she does well in regionals; it's one more step toward the Olympics. At least I won't have a problem knowing how to spell her last name.

iPhone Frenzy - is it for You?

Apple came out with the newest techy gadget June 29 iPhone which costs >$600+. I used to love new gadgets that would come out in the technology world since that is my industry of work. However my priorities from lessons learned (and practicality) have taken me away from such a "gotta have it" paradigm. Here is My Top 10 List of not getting iPhone:

10. Heard the funtionality is not all there as designed
9. Another opporutity for foreign language speaking people to call me thinking that I am there relative with that phone number
8. Another opportunity for organizations to call me thinking I am the person that had the number previously
7. My eyesight is already out the window; have to keep my glasses on to read the screen and make sure I am touching the right iconic windows
6. Hanydman bill of service vs. iPhone billing for continued service; choose the latter since the results last longer
5. One more valuable piece of hardware to loose in my cave-live purse to search for
4. Cashmere yarn lasts longer than this product; and it doesn't require upgrade or replacement for better quality or "newer features"
3. Another medium of opportunity for hackers to steal my identity
2. Even though the craze is to get the newest technology available in the market and be part of that history, I never was one to follow a "trend"
1. Very limited people that want to talk to me on the regular phone now / I can access the net when I am working anytime (when I find the time)

In terms of our capital world, "What's in your wallet?"

Caught in a Photo Gallery Tease

One of the photographers grabbed me to take a photo for Detriout Tigers Photo Gallery as I was walking into Comerica Park, where the Detroit Tigers play.
I got off of work since I am here in MotorCity this weekend, went straight to the hotel, changed and drove to the park in time to see the Minnesota Twins warm-up time. The photographer had a more attractive photo of me with a close up of my face with the scoreboard in the background. As you can see, I think they are saving it - those bastards! I guess it was because I asked the guy to take a photo of me in the same pose with my camera. Good service is hard to come by these days!

Oops, I did it again!

BB Knits

Last weekend I had another scooping visit that has definately put me on a strict budget. I have my supportive friends who were my accomplices so I enjoyed the group euphoria! We had to bring out our stash on my front lawn to literally roll into our merchandise.


Celebrating with Nancie, Lisa and Terry post mortum purchasing.


Nancie salivating over her stash...



Going for a taste test with Lisa's.



Terry enjoying the wine and fibers.




Pur cashmere and mohair blends - just like looking at precious jewelry!

Hostage Experience in Motorcity

My client has expressed that things have slowed down for not being here for 3 weeks in a row, so I will call this my "hostage project" from now on. Love how they bitch about it but they can't seem to give me specifics on why they think this project is behind because I have vacations like other people.

This past weekend in hostage quarters, I did manage to visit a pottery and glass craft fair. Boothes and boothes of crafty glass and pottery creations. It all started looking the same; unfortunately I am sure a non-knitter would be feeling the same for shopping in a yarn store. The highlight at the fair was a twisty ice cream cone in the midst of the hot summer day and the live band playing 70's dance and booggie music. I didn't manage to get the name of the band but they were a great copy band that played disco, Michael Jackson, EW&F, Gloria Gaynor, etc. Check out the pics - I hung out with them for the rest of my stay at this fair.


Polyester outfits with large printed shirts and afro wigs!


....with platform shoes....


He appeared when "Super Freak" started...he was dancing and twisting his limbs around with anyone else who was dancing. The audience ended up laughing and staring...brought me back home again :)





Can't forget my progress and commitment to poka dots!

International Knit in Public can be "Dangerous"

I truly enjoyed today with Lisa, Nancie, Terry and Stepanie in SB for the Int'l Knit in Public day. We met some of the SB knitters that also meet on Thursday evenings together. After working on only two rows of my poka-dot sweater, I became chilled while sitting there; perhaps due to the anticipation of going to B.B.'s Knits for the going out of business sale - everything 50% off!

Well, off we go at 3 PM for the hunt. Between the five of us, we spent $2943.41 exactly from our multiple purchases. Some of use bought all in one visit to the register; others took multiple visits to the register. I was the winner for spending $1128.31. Pictures tell the story.


Here I am overseeing the two large shopping bags of inventory to purchase.


Here is a box of "gems" to the tune of $300 - 100% cashmere! ChaChing goes the register.


B.B. asks me if I really wanted to purchase the box of cashmere...I didn't think twice - Nancie didn't think I was going to do it; Terry knew I was commited!


Me hunter and gatherer; all in a good day's euphoria. This is a moment where I am very happy to not have to answer to a spouse on what I spend my money on. What will I make with all of this? Only time will tell ;) Thank you ladies for a wonderful day!

Now for my Next Magic Trick...

Here is my next challenge of life - my first button-down summer sweater with the fairisle (intarsia really) technique. April and I have bought the same book, same yarn and same pattern; hers being different colors. I have adjusted the size to work with different yarn than the pattern calls for and away I go. I have a short torso therefore shortened the bottom ribbing. It took me a bit of time to remember how to change off the colors but I finally have the rhythm!



Yeah - I look like her, right!




So pumping along while staying in Pismo Beach. All of a sudden I realized that I didn't look at the whole pattern for the correct inches for my wide body. Guess what? Had a ripping event; here is how far I got before I realized I had to start all over again.

Memorial BBQ Time

What can you say in mixed company? Had my "annual" BBQ for Memorial weekend. Guests included my local knittster sisters and the AKA (Adult Korean Adoptees) group. Then there were the ghost busters...

It was worth my exhaustion and limited time for getting ready...this was the opportunity to initate my new shed "storage annex" built by my handyman Tracy Bridger.








"Group Therapy"

Swinging, knitting and eating.


Heather and Chad


AKA Group


Ann and Kenny


....and Leslie




Good times to welcome in Summer!

Mother's Day Visit

On Mother's day I managed to drive from Detriot metro (stayed the weekend :P) to Chicago to meet my cousin Tom and his family. This is the first time I am meeting these people since it has been 30 years since I hung out with Tom. It was as though 30 years wasn't between us. We reflected on the teenage stuff we did e.g. getting drunk at my oldest brother's wedding at 14 years old. Good times when there are open bottles of wine on all the tables. I had my appendix out 3 weeks before that and I was part of the wedding party. If I couldn't dance, I wanted to have a good time - that was the first time I got drunk. We also reminisced about when I visited their family parties and all the family dynamics that went with the scenes. I found out that my second cousin Alexa who is 15 is truly a terrific figure skater and going into sectional/regional championships. Aliva teaches ballet at the same rink that Alexa skates at daily and their oldest brother Derek is a star employee/supervisor at UPS. Tina, Toms' wife is a blast to talk with - very open and nuts just like me ;) Haveing two big meals out with them gave me a stomache ache but it was worth the trouble!



Tina, Tom, Alivia, Alexa, (big blob!) and Derek



Car scene - Tina, Alexa and Alivia



Boys of summer - Tom and Derek

Flashback of Events

Ok...I have to catch you guys up on places and faces I have seen in the last couple months.

Since I am deployed in the Detroit metro area, I visited the Henry Ford museum on April 14, 2007 . where they have the presidential Lincoln Continental that Kennedy was shot in. The hard top is on it here in the display.





Then I peruse through the museum and come across the chair that Lincoln was assinated in while in the Ford museum - 142 years ago. Note the blood stains in the upholstery of the chair. Such irony, Lincoln dead in the Ford Theatre; Kennedy dies in a Lincoln and this is both in a Ford musuem.

Anyone can Comment in this Blog!

Ok...so I work in computers but I am not always bright when it comes to default settings. Comment away everyone!

Definately Affected by the Moon

It's official! I am now very centered and happy with myself this week since I feel like I have accomplished something positive at my current project. Friday I blew a gasket when I realized that coming home to only work long and intense hours didn't give me the feeling that I was "home". It's simply a turnstyle building where I exchange clothes, pay bills and get my handyman set up for additional work (paying him more $$). However every month I seem to have a small bout of insomnia - blame it on the moon.

Meanwhile I long for having another pet to come home to. Here's something interesting! Before I left Sunday morning to the Oxnard airport I woke up with pieces of toilet paper trailed in my bedroom doorway. One piece seemd to be smooched together and a couple of small pieces balled up like in a trail of bread crumbs. Now I know that I am not that sloppy to trail TP around my house! I think my cat Opal who died in my house is still there. This was something she would do to get my attention when she was a kitten. A month ago one of my purses fell off a shelf in a room that I was not in at all. I heard something fall and saw that my purse was upside down on the floor. A camera strap on a shelf above was still swinging from the movement since it had to pass through it falling. That wasn't me either! This was another kinetic action that Opal used to do when she was a kitten to get my attention. If anyone can explain this, I am open for anything.

My routine is to shut this computer down at a certain evening hour no matter how many email message are outstanding in my inbox. Too bad world! I do have a life and I need to break no matter if I live in this hotel or not. At least someone cleans after me :)

Memoirs of a Road Warrior!

Creative Therapy

For those you are still reading my blog here...I am posting photos of a baby blanket that I knitted for my friend Camille. This is what I sent express mail to her cousin who just recently had a baby.

Knitting seems to help me stay focused and avoids me from thinking of what next to eat. :)

Here is my daily inspiration trying it out

Dream of Running

The other night I had one of those dreams where I was with people I know in real life. This usually means that something is going on with them yet it's funny how I recognize two people in my dream this time and they are both Asian adoptees like myself! It's finally coming to me that I am facing my hidden issues that I kept burrying all these years I suppose.

I dreamed I was walking into some Casino house where several poker tables were in games with lots of men. I walked in with Joe Thompson and Jan Lyon (haven't been in touch with these guys for a while either) when my cell phone rang and somebody on the other line was chatting about nonsense then all of a sudden screamed "RUN! NOW!" It startled me to where I dropped the phone, the voice still chatting loud enough as I ran away. I turned around and noticed Jan was looking at me in a weird way as though I was crazy as I am running away. As I ran out of this building, I almost ran into men with guns as they were coming into the building to raid the place. I realized they were the authority busting the place but I was getting out in time. My adoptee 'friends' were still in the building but I didin't seem to be interested or concerned of what the fate is for them since they didn't follow me out. I didn't say anything to them, just ran. The voice on the phone gave me to cue that there was no time to explain, just run. Even after running out, I kept running in the street as though I was trying to really be in the clear of something.

My dream book states that dreaming of running by yourself indicates that I will outstrip my friends in the race for wealth and occupy a higher place in social life. Telephone in dreams means jealousy and rivalry but will overcome all evil influences. Sounds like I was being selfish in my dream by not caring what happens to others around me. Funny how dreams and reality can somehow be symbolic. I realize that I am going through a time where I need to take care of myself and no others. Sorry folks - I miss you all in this world but my sense of humor is on hold temporarily. Perhaps working long hours doesn't help matters.

"What's Going On?"

It's been a while since I posted here and for distracting reasons. By the way, I got my fraudulent charge reversed on Diners...after the appropriate paperwork notarized. This time it was faster. I guess it helps when you can claim a charge on the same day of the fraud from a different location. I still refuse to open anymore store credit cards and purchase anything online.

Becky G has written a premonition dream about me and my mother a while back. It has predicted an emotional wound that I don't think I have gotten over yet. It was just in time before I met up with my long lost cousin of 30 years, Tom. I have been haunted (not by ghosts) by my chronic dysfunctional family situation called my mother; really both my adoptive parents. The complexity is that not only did I choose to be born in this life, I truly didn't choose to be in the family dynamics - add the identity crisis to boot and call it adoptee issues. At least I am not bullistic like Cho Seing-Ho at V-Tech. I am responsible to know that I do not want children to ingrain this same dysnfunction that I was brought up with.

My parents both are very superficial because it is difficult for them to expose any sense or signal of failure as humans. As a result, they do not communicate nor are they compassionate of others around them including their children. My siblings of this family are all chemically dependent on something and they have not been in touch with my parents for years, so my parents say. If I try to talk about anything with human and emotional depth, they clearly cannot function. I know these are the only parents I have but they are not peeps that I would want to be with for a long period of time. We don't have anything in common nor on the same intelligence level. I can tell that they don't want to talk to me if I start talking about business or my career. They don't understand what I do since I was a bedside nurse.

I long for family communications such as "what is going on" with other family members. I have a hard time getting that information from my parents that don't want to talk about 'sensitive' family issues. When I called my mother to talk about cousin Tom, she had a difficult time to talk about that side of the family. I had to pull information out of her. There is some anomosity between our fathers that was waaaay before our time. I think my mother seems to perpetuate the situation for some historical reason. I am not sure why this has to do with us cousins but it has affected the frequency of keeping in touch with each other. Her reason is that "they didn't talk to you whenever we went over to their house...". I think they didn't talk to her for some reason but it's easier to put it on others to avoid any signal of social failure. Her ultimate message was "don't tell your father you are in touch with that side of the family..." however she thanked me for telling her of this reunion. It's as though she was privi to such secretive information. Her secrets seem to be power over others. I work with some people that don't share their knowledge and expertise so this reminds me of those people.

I suppose when I ask people "what's going on", it's because I really want to be included in the scene to feel as though I am part of their lives. It's not that much to ask for.

My Reward for Having Execellent Credit

Yup, the thieves did it again to me!

Tonight I took a look at my online Diners Club credit account (my work credit card) and noticed that someone had a party with my card; limo service of $319.46 on March 17 in New Jersey!! The same day I have a transaction at Landmark 78, a local Ventura restaraunt. How can I be on two coasts at the same time?

Diners wants me to sign a fraudulent form that they will send me and want me to notarize it. Another snag, how can I find time to notarize this shit when I am traveling for a living using this credit card? Spoke to the manager and she said that a signature and date will suffice since I travel as much. She had to say that since this is a coroporate card.

4-5 years ago, someone got a hold of my SS# and opened up credit accts, taking cash advances ruining my credit. A bank in Atlanta called me to verify who I really was and realized that I live in CA, not Georgia. Fraudulent charges ~ $2000 had to be removed from one account, ~ $500 more for another acct that was opened up in my name at that time.

2 years ago, someone got a hold of one my personal credit accounts and charged up a storm in England. Ironic that I went to live in England for work thereafter as I was working on getting those fraudulent charges off of my account.

Needless to say, I no longer give out my SSN or open any more credit cards. No more online business transactions; only online fund transfers directly paying off the credit billing. Now I have to go back to the damn paper writing checks to pay these off, dammit!! NO MORE EBAY OR PAYPAL. Meanwhile I am still getting paypal fraudulent access messages in my email when these accounts are closed. WTF?

This is such an invasion of my privacy. Why the hell can't people just fucking leave me alone? Get a job! This is what I get for being a good citizen and following the rules and living the American dream?

Tremendous Loss to Standup Comedy

Saturday, March 10 a man who makes people laugh seemed to have taken his own life at his residence in W. Hollywood. I saw him a couple times live and he is a very clever comedian with real-life situatons; didn't swear profusely which the reason why I liked him. I also used to work at the hospital they took him to. Small world now that I have been in it long enough. I will miss Richard Jeni, my best friend was in tears when I told her about the news on her voice message Sunday. She was the one that turned me on to him in the first place.

What was he doing with a gun? Sometimes the fame and success is too much for one. I like to keep a low profile myself as you can see why.

30 Year Reunion

After an exhausting week of working night shift and calling cousin Tom twice in Chicago O'Hare, here is the photo that says it all! What a reunion! See the family resemblance?

Fortunate Life

With all of my rantings in my previous postings, I have to admit that I am very fortunate in my life thus far. Yes, I am alone but the simplicity has helped me survive and sheltered me from the harsh parts of mankind :)

Last week, I received a snail-mail letter from a man who was taking a shot in the dark hoping that I was his long lost cousin. His name is Tom and with the same last name as our fathers are brothers. He wrote that he found pictures of me when we were young from a person who recently died in the family. I called his mobile number and sure enough, it was Tom and he successfully found me! He said he found me on the website from all of the Korean adoptee information, birth search, etc. Since I am listed in the phone book, he found my mailing address. We caught up with each others' families after no contact for 30 years; thanks to our Italian family dysfunctional dynamics! Needless to say, this was quite an emotional and shocking moment to speak with someone that I haven't seen that length of time. We will be reuniting at Chicago O'Hare airport later this week...pictures to follow.

This makes my irritants in life so meaningless when things like this happen. There are only so much we have in control of our lives; other things happen for the reasons that they do. I can't wait to contact my parents after this reunion!

Thank you George W!

Nothing like living in the material age discrimination world! I am a licensed RN in two states and keep them both active with critical care experience and here is what I found on a job board. So much for serving for "my country".

"Medical-Surgical Nurse
Company: California Army National Guard-Officer

Requirements

Must be a graduate of an accredited nursing program and hold a current State license to practice nursing.

Must be 42 years old or younger (50 years old or younger with 10+ years of prior military service)

Must be a U.S. Citizen

Must be able to pass a physical exam and meet legal and moral standards"

Out of my League

At the eve of St. Valentine's Day, I always feel as though I am not meant to be in this stratesphere; out of my league.

This past weekend I sat in on a seance for a man that died ~6 years ago; his widowed wife is having difficulty letting go of him. Listening to her life with him and with her family as she made lasagna and canoles for us reminded me of how alone I am. The sensitivity of my surroundings are as such; 1) I am not good at supporting other peoples' grief and loss as much as I want to if I haven't experienced the same level of intimacy in another, 2) A sense of my deep depression and anger surfaces for not having such fortune in my life before or now, 3) Watching other couples feed each other in restaurants just exacerbates the above items mentioned. All three of these items makes me wish I had the fortune or benefit that others have so far in their lives. I must be out of my league!

I feel more comfortable when we are ghost hunting; dusting for ghosts but uncomfortable in the true living beings especially in a large group at one time. The sense of inadequacy keeps rearing its ugly head - inadequate to relate with others about life and relationships with their loved ones. "Don't you want to have children?" ---eeeewwwww! This must be why I relate to the paranormal - they are also suspended in their stratesphere. Now, back to my coping - drowning myself in the therapy of knitting multiple projects simultaneously and hang out with my knitting sisters.

How do you spell Dishoveled?

Just work for one of the American corporate businesses where they are looking at the 10 year large profit strategy; forget the pride of the workers.

Ah..just like the Ford car centers, my company is going through a major reorganization. The headquarter office for this country is in Kansas City where many of us were hired out in the field to work virtually. They are now making us work straight away in our "territories" or out of the HQ office. I have been working in the Detroit metro since they punted me in this region after my tenure in the UK global services; that was a wonderful decision to not return me to the West on their part. There are other things that they want to flatten in the organization but I am destined to be back in the West region; hurray for me!

The downside is that I am about to start up a really big project that I take pride in. I told my direct report manager that if I am to be compliant to be working my West "territory", I be removed from this project asap. Why would I want to exert all of my expertise and energy on a project and then suddenly get yanked out? The other option to be work in the project in "violation" of my home territory. No dice, they don't want me to be in the duration non-compliant. So much for the pride that employees have in such companies. Now I see why we have shit for American products and customer services. I have been laid off before so I have to say that I have experienced all divets of the American corporate lifestyle. I quit jobs before I get any sense of demotion.

Retirement can't come too soon!

Paris is calling

Talking about ghost hunting and structures last night has made me reflect being in Paris; my favorite place in Europe. I don't care if they don't speak English. We don't speak English in America - we speak American!

Le Pere Lachaise cemetary has to be the coolest place in Paris.....Notre Dame and St. Chapelle is close behind.

I actually fell asleep while inside St. Chapelle with all of the stain glass windows and tourists. It was the most peaceful place, more peaceful than in the Cistene Chapelle in Rome.

Definately lots of comforting energies around Notre Dame :) love the gargoyle water spouts!