My recent trip to Ecuador - allowed me to experience touching, skewing and placing wiggling grubs on the open fire in the Amazon Rainforest. The look on my face was due to the new experience.  Once cooked they taste like bacon.

My Best Companions Ever!

 Approaching the end of 2021, here is the best picture of my furry babies Dusty and Powder.  Powder (below) was the first one I obtained from the Jacksonville Humane Society and has only 3 legs. Then his brother as a Foster; I am a Foster failure.  Aren't they the best looking brothers? They have kept me occupied during the second year of the COVID-19 pandemic and so on.  Below is the boxed set - Powder top box then Dusty bottom box. 

Welcoming the Roaring 20's

For whomever is reading this, it has been a long time and Facebook has taken place of blogging like this. We are in the midst of COVID-19 stay at home directives even for work. Some day we will be looking back at this time as a significant culture changing history. Anyway - all the best for our high schoool graduates in this new decade in the most strangest reverse of our time with modern technology. 

Greetings and Happy New 2018 Year!

This blog site has definitely changed so I am test driving it to see what my new posts look like now. 

Is this thing on? In Baltimore last year's solution enabling a large room full of people to hear someone on a conference call through the room's ceiling speakers.  Quite innovative for the 21st century, hah?
Since then my next gig is in New Jersey for more technology implementation...mobile label printers.

Testing this Old Blog Site

Hello everyone - to those who really read and follow me, I am back testing this blog site making sure I still have access to it.  Many security checks for sure in this generation with the internet and hackers. Post menopause and such has not left me with a good physique so I will post a cute photo of a stray cat at the theater I volunteer at Ocala Civic Theater.  Oh yeah, I moved cross country in with my Father in Florida.  This June marks the third anniversary of my Mother's passing.

Cheers for now!

Missing my Paradise

Now that Christmas is near, I have moved away from Central Coast to Inland Empire - I have to say that I miss the paradise that I lived in for the past 4 years.  The new job is growing on me but there is no place like the comforts of good air quality, sandy beaches and the ocean sounds and salt air.  I keep finding this a challenge to get my account accessed to post new entries here.  I know this is a public place on the internet but I realize that nobody seems to read it anymore which I consider this a private journal location for me.

Next weekend I will fly to Floirda again to be with Dad. Today would have been my mother;s 81st birthday.  Meetup group locally in Inland Empire is getting easier. Still finding it difficult to establish long-term relationships.  Chuck has decided to take a more convenient choice of relationship and stick to the Central Coast instead of making it with me with a long-distance.

Whatever technical trick is behind this to keep my access to post here, I am thankful.  I have to keep posting here on a routine basis to keep this access blog.  More will come...Happy Holidays to me!

Another New Chapter away from ShangriLa

Life is truly running fast forward...the passing of my mother the day after I euthanize Freckles has certainly taken me back.  Nothing else matters in terms of climbing any career ladder.  After 2 trips to Florida to help Dad, my estranged sister shows up by surprise on his doorstep with her husband after 20 years of no contact. 

I am pleased for the new found society of Meetup group events that I have attended her in Central Coast CA but now have to migrate to the Inland Empire groups...away from beach opportunities.  :(  Hopefully I am able to return to this region when I really retire from work....someday.

Moving Forward and Onward

This morning I received a phone call from what I thought was a prospective employer whom I thought truly rejected me - Culver City.  This is the one I had to call 3 people after 3 weeks after an 'unofficial' offer email from their HR person.  The prospective direct report left a voice message with an apology for the misunderstanding.  They are continuing to interview more people before they decide.  I believe they all do not know what each other are doing for their organization and ultimately corporate-wise.  There is something wrong with this picture.  Fortunately I have applied for 9 more positions since that bad news call last week.  One of them called back - NY state and another was MedSys Group calling to see if I can work as an Integration Architect in either of 2 states.  Then there was an email message from another place I applied to asking for my time to speak about the position I applied to.  The bad news doesn't seem so bad now that I have moved on.

Meanwhile, the other list of positions I applied for are still pending any correspondence.  I think the emotional roller coaster will continue; I just need to know how to stabilize it after all these months of frustration.

Back to the Drawing Board

2 job rejections this week.  Culver City pulled back the offer for financial reasons and say will call me back when they have more funds for the position.  Right.  Another day of decompression while applying for 3 more online jobs.  One of them automatically rejecting me since I didn't qualify for an attribute in a question.

What I thought was a rejection from a work colleague who I thought was a working friend was simply her preoccupation of moving back to TX from the CA job.  Thank you Marsha for being there for me :)
Camille has been the best person to support me.  She has pushed me to apply for unemployment online so I did it while on the phone with her.  I actually found the right url on their website to apply all the way through with back date of last date working, quarterly gross income and all the other data needed.  Another waiting game for state of CA...still waiting for my MediCal card applied back in January of this year.  Time is slow when you wait for benefits of life but goes in a speed of light when you don't think about it all.

Day Trip up Central Coast

Today was a wonderful day. Drove up Highway 1 to Salmon Creek Falls and Gorda, CA w/Dave Edwards.  These past 6 months have been very frustrating and I had to break out of my prison and stretch my ligaments.  After climbing up to the top of the falls and nearly falling flat on my face coming down the slopes, we enjoyed a wonderful sandwich from Sebastian's in Gorda while watching the whales spouting out at sea.
I am hoping Culver City will come through with the final job offer this week.  It would be a great start for the Spring with employment.  With that will bring on more stress to find a new place to live and move my household.  Meanwhile I am struggling with the fate of the sewage backup in my home in Ventura while my tenants spend a night in hotel for tomorrow's street digging to correct the lateral.  One more thing to prove I am not winning is possibly going to really break me.

Here is a proud seal showing off.

Reviving the Blog

Hello - this is a test to see if this blog is really still alive. Anyone out there to see this post? It's been 3 years and I want to post my personal thoughts here and see if anyone follows me and my thoughts.

Nature Pictures

Taken while driving along highway 58 east of Santa Margarita. I was looking for wildflowers but saw horse ranches instead.

Then there are the beached Elephant seals along the shores of San Simeon

A skinny baby on shore

A male seal backing off when we were spotted

Montana de Oro - my place of worship; this image down at the water's edge climbed down the cliff to get here.

Crashing up on the breaker; the sounds and the sights of the water is what I am there for.

Recovering Access to this Blog and my Life!

I am so frustrated that I cannot access this blog on a regular basis. I even sent out a couple of security check messages but miraculously I am in sending this update!

A lot has happened since January. I have moved out of San Luis Obispo, quit my current job to start another soon and moved to Grover Beach, CA. So my physical location is in one beach and my mailing address now in another beach - Pismo. Always in a state of flux. Also lost access to my primary yahoo email account so I am lucky I am here blogging right now.

In a couple weeks I will be with my cats and bringing them back from Florida. That was a very long 2 1/2 years without them. Volunteering at the local Humane Society has brought me back to being around cats, I hope my allergies will not flare up with them on no corn gluten meal diet.

Volunteering at the local playhouse has been an experience working in the theater. Also gives me the opportunity to see who is in the community and free snacks the time I volunteer :)

Now I am going to see if this posts and soon posting pics again....see you all if I get back into here again.

Sprinkling of Cows on the Velvety Green Hills

Driving down through the Central Coast counties back to Ventura sure puts me in a happy place. With all the rains we have had since the 2011 new year, the hills are populated with happy cows of all colors roaming up and down the slopes. A reflection of life makes me think of a bucket list; I have done and seen lots of places that I wanted to but will need to keep that list for details before time runs out.

1. Hang gliding or motor sailing (?) along the beach
2. Drive a fancy European car and speed on the Audobon
3. Go back to Australia for a visit at least one more time
4. One more trip back to Korea
5. Tour into Grand Canyon
6. New Year's Eve in Time Square

Today I realized that I can survive very well by myself in USA - familiar settings, culture, etc. But when it comes to survival and independence living in a foreign and desireable country, I cannot survive on my own. Others that do enjoy the foreign lifestyle experience have a partner and thus support each other in the process. My journey was a loner attempt. Such a paradox but it proves to me how countries treat "foreigners". They will take care of their own before anyone else - you have to be a special case to make it big in a 'foreign' country. The Beatles, Australian actors, Madonna, Gwynneth Paltrow; I think you got the picture. Little old me - trying to make it in a small software provider organization, and a minority at that - WTF? And I am not as young as I used to be for all the stress that goes into changes.

Well, things do happen for a reason - I gained the opportunity to live in the paradise where there is sprinkling of cows in the velvetry green hills. Being in this small cowboy town I seem to meet different people easier. I hang out at Louisa's place for breakfast and Firestone Grill for Monday Night Football. These places are where the college kids hang out. Thus my symbol of youth and exposure to college life. Louisa's is always busy so I eat at the counter. Last weekend I sat next to a Psychology Professor who has gone back to limited technology in his life, then a wild swinger party owner; in the same seat! What a contrast. It's facinating how much I would have missed if I tried to stay as 'foreigner' in a country that didn't really want me anyway. Guess I have to take care of and support myself in friendly territories. Thank you happy cows!

Note: I know anonynous readers are seeing this - identify yourself or else find your own happy cows!

Showing off my Talent :)

Estonian Lace pattern; a wedding gift to a woman I work with.





I am impressed with myself for the detail on how it turned out!

Hello World - Back to Reality, Again

I am back here on this blog site to remind myself that there is reality checks that I have to write about.

Since my last postings, I have moved to San Luis Obispo, CA; hired into a great job as a consultant utilizing all of my past hospital, IT and consulting skills; just bought another new car to join the sisterhood of Scooter (my Miata) and I have to admit much happier now that it has been nearly a year since I moved back from Australia. I am still haunted from living there with a credit card annual fee to pay but I am in a much better mind set instead of a deep dark depression last year. I have to thank a few people - without them I wouldn't be in this wonderland of California without their support shelter-wise. Oh yes, I also turned a milestone age. The photo should mark the disposition I am in at this time.



Of course - knitting continues to keep me centered. I have just finished a beautiful Estonian Lace shawl for a woman at work who is getting married. Had to take the images before I gifted it. Some day I will get back to knitting one for myself; I do have enough yarn choices. Those bins/barrel of yarn traveled with me overseas twice in the last year. Have to admit, they are the best inanimate companion :)

Violation of my Privacy...this one's for you!

Take a look at this photo as this will be the last time this image will be possible. This is a photo with my "buddy" Ken for the last time together. The drama has come to an end and I haven't even understood why it is such a fucking drama to begin with. What facinates me is how people that do not realize how they are untrue to themselves are also not true to others around them. All I am concerned with is that I am not responsible or accoutable for how others feel when it comes to paranoia and rage on their part(s). I feel absolutely awesome for the fact that I know I am in control of how I relate to people. Others with social/mental retardation in relating with people for others - well I am not here to train people especially when I know I gain nothing; call me a bitch. Puzzled on what the hell I am talking about? Here is the rundown:

-Ken and I have known each other for > 15 years as we have worked in the same company. Photo above is from our reunion of this company this past weekend. I have the sense of marital issues on his end the whole time I have known him.

-His wife (noted in last photo of previous post) doesn't seem happy with the fact that we have a 'friendship' together. Which means we have same interests and an adventurous interest of activities. Boohoo - can I help it that I can't include others that don't have the same energy as me?

-I even have listened and supported wife's perspective from hearing Ken's feedback on their marriage.

-Ken seems to have a different perspective e.g. that wife and I should be comfortable together. My thoughts are not the same as I sense the paranoia on her part. I respect the situation and encourage myself to be away from this 'friendship' but Ken has thought otherwise. Men, those dears!!My thoughts are that he is just another gay friend so what is the big deal?

-Because of my respect of walking away from this negative energy, wife seems to take upon herself to read this private blog. Private means that I only send this link to ones that I know (close friends) because I want them to read my thoughts. I did remove this blog link from Facebook last month as I know I wanted to keep this private. She has not answered Ken's question on where she got this link. Suspect invasion of his email privacy as well (?) Not my problem.

-My respect and honoring wife request of "I want her {me} to go away" yields her snooping and violation of my blog commentaries, did I mention this is private information? This is the thanks I get for being respectful to her request. Badgering Ken on what I meant by some comments helped me realize she is reading this blog.

Being true to oneself means you know your limitations in life in all aspects, even when it comes to people. I realized that my future employment will be measured on my tolerance of people interaction; thus the reason why I went into computer implementation work. A decision that I have to respect for myself as I have spent thousands of dollars in Nursing Aesthetic training thinking I was going to go into that field. My decision to not go into that is due to staying away from a work burnout and bullshitting with people for aesthetic shit. I am not a good liar.

I am finding out that the support of this wife's dark activity goes to the her, should I be surprised - NO! That's another subject of enablement....Sure this information is on the internet but there is the freedom of writing/speech that I am exercising here.

So, wife - this one's dedicated for you 'cos I know you are reading this! Notice how I have concealed your name for shear respect? BAZINGA!

Ken's 50th Birthday

Just got back from Ken's 50th birthday celebration on a yacht in Marina Del Rey. Appeteasers and lower than mediocre tasting birthday cake. At least it looked pretty.

Camille wasn't up to joining me since she is having yet another dramatic week at work. Being on a boat cycling through the marina was not what she was up for this evening. I met a couple of Ken's friends: Paul and Gail. Married couple who love and thrive on adventure. I turned them on to getting a Galapagos Island trip for themselves - they would love the nature and wildlife as I do. Paul is trying to get hooked up on hang gliding activity. I absolutely want to do that Ken wants to do that as well. This is one of my bucket list items.

My buddy Ken with the flowers I got him for this birthday (still sober).


Apparently, I don't seem to be a very welcome guest at the Ken's party in terms of Ken's wife and her friends are concerned. However I was invited to this "surprise" event. I tried to take a photo of Ken and myself and I believe this woman who pretended to be drunk was falling back on the 2 of us while the photo was being taken by his wife. Don't know why I gave the camera to her for the photo but I suspect the weird action from her friend was planned! Here is the best mug shot of Ken and I from the evening - it's as good as it gets! Here is Ken completely wasted and having a good time. The photo has cropped off the woman who seemed to want to be in every attempted shot! Don't you love the drama?


Who's your mama Ken?

Sturdy but Fragile

Here I am in the year of 2010 still without a means of an income; rejection seems to continue here. Had an interview in Florida for a manager position. It is replacing someone who was a manager first time as well. They decided to fly someone in from Australia...and picked someone else who has management experience. I think Australia has really tarnished me and I loved it there - how so fucking ironic! Am not really happy these days as I forgot to take my peri-menopausal pills for the past 3 days. Wondering why I am very emotional....again! I would love to think and experience that knitting all day, every day would give me an income. I am making Mark a sweater out of wool/angora fiber - he better like it! I also made a Manos wool for Laurie Bilbruck's mother, the woman's whose condo I am staying in - thank you Laurie!!

Otherwise, I am continuing to have this perspective of being led on then deflated; in all aspects of my life:

-Job interviews/head hunter calls that I though would be a job
-Friends who are supposed to be friends but desire to be more but can't deliver
-The economic sitation is "getting better"...where is work then?

I am fortunate for the situation that I am temporarily in to help me financially however one of the items is going away shortly which means I must find a used vehicle to purchase and get insurance along with other living maintenance.

Have to keep looking at the "bright side of life". Went to Vegas Valentine's weekend to get the 21 out of my system. We saw a Chihuly glass gallery and I loved those pieces! Here is my favourite estimated $55K USD.




I love the brilliant colors in his pieces! I have to identify with these pieces as showing my brilliance yet fragility if I am bumped off my mark.











Until next time....

And now for my Next Magic Trick

The Phoenix in me has yet to rise. I am still favouring my raw scars of 2009. Have to admit this past year has been the best and the worst times of my whole life so far. A love/hate rollercoaster:
• Love Melbourne- hate the company that got me out there to work
• Love the fact that I can be flexible by giving/selling all of my collectibles and housewares to move from one hemisphere to another-hate that I had to do it twice in the same year
• Love my best friends that I established in Melbourne-hate that I had to leave and not be with them as often as I was when I lived in there
• Love the fact that I am enjoying my unemployment phase now-hate the manner of how I got this way
Since I just recently took the laser/botox/dermal filler certification course at National Laser Institue I still see myself going to the familiar environment of technology project work. I feel as though I am starting all over again not with my living situation but also with my career and life!



I am grateful that there are a couple potential employments that seem to be promising to me at this time therefore enjoying my “me” time as much as possible. The lesson learned here: Always consider keeping my environmental happiness instead of making any hasty work decisions because it's glamorous.

One of my Nursing Continuing Education for Nurses booklet in the mail has a course for ‘Burnout: Impact on Nursing’. Reading through it, it applies to ANY job or career and not just in Nursing. Scanning through it, I had the classic burnout risks, manifestations, symptoms and stages while working in Melbourne. Good thing I have this information so in my job interviews, I can inquire on whether I will burnout again. Term of burnout: “The term is used to describe a mild degree of unhappiness caused by stress, as well as any degree of distress, from fatigue or major depression…..it is not a problem related to an individual but a problem of the social environment in which people work and is a function of how people within that environment interact with one another and perform their jobs.” Let me say that the fucking bitch that started the rampage of not supporting me at work Down Under definitely was the lynch-pin from my experience. Am relieved that it is something I cannot take personally but at the time, I felt like a failure; truly like going through a divorce for the length of time I worked at that company.

I am very grateful for friends that have helped me through this mess and recovery. I actually did help out a couple of friends for a living situation in the past so I guess I am getting my return of that good deed :). So…for my next magic trick, I will make sure that I avoid the risks, correct any manifestations/symptoms to avoid the stages of burnout….in my 4th career!